Mutual Self-Giving and Acceptance

The "one flesh" union of husband and wife in marriage entails that they both reciprocally and freely give themselves to one another and accept one another. This is what real love is all about. This is the kind of comunion of persons that bodily sexual intercourse is meant to express in a man-woman relationship. Naturally, this reciprocal self-giving and acceptance involved in a man and woman who love one another is supposed to be total and forever. This is what real love is all about. From this, one can clearly see that the only valid context which preserves the dignity and the sanctity of bodily sexual intercourse is in marriage, not outside it.

Many young people today delude themselves in thinking that because they love each other, then it's ok to have sex. In pre-marital sexual encounters, it is usually the young girl who ends up devastated and feeling cheated. Sex outside this total and reciprocal and lasting/ permanent self-giving and acceptance ends up by only using the other as a means for one's selfish sexual gratification. Is that love when you just use the other for your selfish cravings?

In the Book of Genesis, Scriptures describes the intimate encounter that transpired between Adam and Eve in a rather curious way: "Adam knew his wife Eve and she conceived and bore Cain..." (Gen 4:1) Real knowledge of the one's spouse in important in a marriage that has the chance of remaining intact despite the challenges of life and vicissitudes of life. We are talking here of an intinate knowledge of one's spouse. For those who are preparing for marriage, this is a important reminder. This is precisely the purpose of the period of engagement between a man and a woman: it's a time to really know the other person real deep. This is why you spend as much time with one another, so you can really come to know the other and whether you are really meant for each other. Do not spend your engagement period in whispering to each other's ears "sweet nothings." Get to know one another real well, his or her family and friends, but most of all, the real personality of the person you plan to marry. Again, forget the messy lives of your idol movie and TV actors and actresses. Most of them live in a make believe world of their own making. Those people are not real. Just look at their own lives! Who among them can really model for you a good and healthy Christian marriage? Don't be a fool. Like many of them.

The Book of Genesis! Yes, that's where the key lies, the key to the correct understanding of what marriage and sex are and what God had intended them to be. Let's go back to Genesis and re-learn the timeless lessons it gives us. It is there that we find God's original plan and purpose not only for marriage, but for human sexuality and marriage and family.